Rawb.Org: A God Among Swine

 
  I will tell you of a prophecy as old as time, passed from the mouths of the elders to the ears of the child for over seven milennea.
 
The modern world has cast out this tale, saying blasphemous things and twisting the tale for their own selfish desires.
 
Someday I shall fight the hordes of evil atop the mountain, slaying foes so numerous their blood shall rain into the valley.
 
The dark army's numbers are however too vast for one man and the day will end as I lie down dead and defeated.
 
As I lay burning on the funeral pire, I shall arise! Draped in flame I will be reborn as the mighty son of Amon-Ra.
 
You will know when it is done, for the sky shall be bathed in a firey red glow. Know then that my journey to find you begins.
 
With the power of the universe in my hands and the souls of ten thousand men to feed me, I shall not rest until I track you down.
 
There is no use running or hiding, I will scour the entire earth to find you, casting aside those who attempt to stop me like feathers.
 
When I find you, I will look at you with eyes as intense as the sun and I will raise my fist into the sky.
 
Surrounded by fourty heavenly angels chanting. I shall thrust my hand forward ripping the air asunder and filling the air with thunder.
 
And in this hand I will give you the twenty dollars I owe you from that one time you bought pizza and I was too drunk to find my wallet.
 
 
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